How to Be a Good Girlfriend and Partner

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Know which one your partner is looking for, and try to give them what they want. Tell Him What Turns You On Research suggests that better communication is , and no, we don't necessarily mean dirty talk.

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How to Be a Good Girlfriend and Partner

Stimulating and gratifying sex is all in the timing, the communication, and spontaneity, according to Dr. Bea Jaffrey—a clinical psychologist and psychotherapist based in Switzerland—and Mary Jo Rapini, a Houston-based psychiatrist and sex therapist. Keep scrolling to find expert suggestions from Rapini on what works in the bedroom and tips from Jaffrey's new book on overcoming common sex issues,. Tell Him What Turns You On Research suggests that better communication is , and no, we don't necessarily mean dirty talk. Communicating what you like and don't like can be instructional and informative as you get to know each other's bodies. If he's doing something you like, say so rather than ambiguous gestures or noises. And if it's something you're not into, communicate that or guide him in a new direction. Want to try a different angle? If simultaneous orgasm is your goal and you're close to climaxing, don't be mum about it. Don't Underestimate the Power of Praise In a 2016 study published in the , researchers analyzed answers from 39,000 heterosexual couples that were married or cohabiting for over three years. Sexual satisfaction reported to be higher among the couples who revealed that they gave each other positive affirmation during sex and were open enough about during sex to joke about them and move on. Happy couples laugh together. Keep Things Spontaneous Even great sex can start to feel monotonous over time if it's more or less the same old routine. Men love it when women are spontaneous and confident in their ability in bed. Or how about the back row of a movie theater? Be careful though because sex is illegal in public places. Be inventive, have fun. Make sure to be attentive to your partner. Small gestures and nice comments are significant to setting the right mood for sex. We're sure those endorphins don't hurt. And as for those of us city dwellers lacking in vitamin D? It boosts your libido so if you feel friskier during the summer, this is the reason. Go for Morning Sex or Afternoon Delight Dr. Jaffrey notes in her new book that a major reason for mismatched desire between couples is the way men and women handle stress during the week. Men, she says, see sex as a stress reliever while women want to have sex after they've had time to unwind. As a result, women tend to go to bed exhausted, their minds focused on preparing for the next day. Set the alarm 30 minutes before your usual time and see what happens. Men's testosterone levels peak in the morning so you might be pleasantly surprised... Another alternative would be to have afternoon sex on weekends. Interestingly enough, women tend to ovulate in the afternoon, meaning that the optimal hormone level for female sexual desire happens at that time. Expand Your Vocabulary The power of in the bedroom gets underplayed, but it can be a serious mood-enhancer when you're trying to liven things up together. Going about that, however, isn't the easiest for people who aren't used to actually vocalizing. Reading off scripts, she says, never works as well as if couples find a book they really like together and can build off of that jargon. Experiment with Toys and Props One way that Rapini counsels long-term couples on how to explore the unknown to enhance their sexual experience is to try shopping for products and toys together. That could mean anything from couples' vibrators she recommends the to massage oils to body paint to blindfolds, though Rapini says another way to set the scene is to try adding. Do Chores Together Sure, as trivial as it sounds, doing housework together not only makes you better roommates that are less likely to blow up over a stack of dishes, but also helps couples have more satisfying sex. Scientific proof that partners who want to share cooking and cleaning duties are sexier in the bedroom? Focus on Quality Rather Than Quantity There isn't really one golden rule, but a suggested that more sex doesn't mean better sex and that the happiest couples have sex only once a week.

After she left that session, the emotions came pouring in as I recalled being date-raped at age 17. In other elements, start being be a grown-up. Take on one of these skills every day. Once I discovered an outlet for my passions and talents and an avenue to share them so that I felt productive at the end of each day, I discovered contentment. Before I was met with Lyme disease, anxiety was one of my worst symptoms. But how many of them can you call at 2 AM to help you in a crisis?.